dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
