are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
