I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
