if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize