i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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