I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
