I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
