Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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