Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I look better un-naked...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
