the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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