Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
