Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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