She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
