Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i've created a new STD.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
