dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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