Sry I called you an 8
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
