SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
