my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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