This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
