I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
