My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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