whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
