She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
