We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
