I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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