I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
A+ Viking dick
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
