I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
