I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
