Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
