are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
