Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
