apparently the secret to your success is patron
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize