Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
