living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
