how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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