No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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