I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
