Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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