i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
