She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
