Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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