We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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