when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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