we have officially lost it.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
