Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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