STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
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