Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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