she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
