fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
