i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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