Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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