THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
