Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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