R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
