i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
