So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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