we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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