quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
