yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
