i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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