I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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