we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
