Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
