i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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