Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
