I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
only if we run a train.
done.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
