when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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