you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
