I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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