I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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