Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
