I have demons in me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize